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Date: Fri, 3 Nov 1995
To: (Joke Group)•••@••.•••
From: •••@••.••• (Marsha Woodbury)
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Silver Surfer forward:
Through the pitch-black night, the captain sees a light dead ahead
on a collision course with his ship. He sends a signal: "Change
your course ten degrees east."
The light signals back: "Change yours, ten degres west."
Angry, the captain sends: "I'm a Navy captain! Change your course,
sir!"
"I'm a seaman, second class," comes the reply. "Change your course,
sir."
Now the captain is furious. "I'm a battleship! I'm not changing
course!"
There's one last reply: "I'm a lighthouse. Your call."
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Peter Cohen forward:
-Top Ten Things that Never Happen on Star Trek-----------------
>
>10 The Enterprise runs into a energy field of a type it has encountered
> several times before.
>
>9 The Enterprise goes to visit a remote outpost of scientists, who are all
> perfectly alright.
>
>8 Some of the crew visits the holodeck and it works properly.
>
>7 The crew of the Enterprise discovers a totally new lifeform, which later
> turns out to be a rather well-known old life-form wearing a funny hat.
>
>6 The crew of the Enterprise is afflicted by a mysterious plague, for which
> the only cure can be found in the well-stocked enterprise sick bay.
>
>5 The captain has to make a difficult decision about a less advanced people
> which is made a great deal easier by the Starfleet Prime Directive.
>
>4 An enigmatic being composed of pure energy attempts to interface with the
> Enterprise's computer, only to find it has forgotten to bring the right
> leads.
>
>3 A power surge on the bridge is rapidly and correctly diagnosed as a faulty
> capacitor by the highly trained and competent engineering staff.
>
>2 A major Starfleet emergency breaks out near the Enterprise, but fortunately
> some other ships in the area are able to deal with it to everyone's
> satisfaction.
>
>1 The Enterprise is involved in a bizarre time-warp experience which is in
> some way unconnected to the late 20th century.
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Barak got the poem from Gail Scherba:
> SPELLBOUND by Penny Harper (scent by Gail Scherba (-: Ed)
>
> I have a spelling checker.
> It came with my PC.
> It plainly marks four my revue,
> Mistakes I cannot sea.
>
> I've run this poem threw it,
> I'm sure your pleased two no.
> It's letter-perfect, without error,
> My checker tolled me sew.
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Posted by Richard K. Moore <•••@••.•••>
Wexford, Ireland (USA citizen)
Editor: The Cyberjournal (@CPSR.ORG)
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