cj#296> humor column


Richard Moore

Date: Fri, 3 Nov 1995
To:  (Joke Group)•••@••.•••
From: •••@••.••• (Marsha Woodbury)

Silver Surfer forward:

Through the pitch-black night, the captain sees a light dead ahead
on a collision course with his ship. He sends a signal: "Change
your course ten degrees east."

The light signals back: "Change yours, ten degres west."

Angry, the captain sends: "I'm a Navy captain! Change your course,

"I'm a seaman, second class," comes the reply. "Change your course,

Now the captain is furious. "I'm a battleship! I'm not changing

There's one last reply: "I'm a lighthouse. Your call."

Peter Cohen forward:

-Top Ten Things that Never Happen on Star Trek-----------------
>10 The Enterprise runs into a energy field of a type it has encountered
>   several times before.
>9  The Enterprise goes to visit a remote outpost of scientists, who are all
>   perfectly alright.
>8  Some of the crew visits the holodeck and it works properly.
>7  The crew of the Enterprise discovers a totally new lifeform, which later
>   turns out to be a rather well-known old life-form wearing a funny hat.
>6  The crew of the Enterprise is afflicted by a mysterious plague, for which
>   the only cure can be found in the well-stocked enterprise sick bay.
>5  The captain has to make a difficult decision about a less advanced people
>   which is made a great deal easier by the Starfleet Prime Directive.
>4  An enigmatic being composed of pure energy attempts to interface with the
>   Enterprise's computer, only to find it has forgotten to bring the right
>   leads.
>3  A power surge on the bridge is rapidly and correctly diagnosed as a faulty
>   capacitor by the highly trained and competent engineering staff.
>2  A major Starfleet emergency breaks out near the Enterprise, but fortunately
>   some other ships in the area are able to deal with it to everyone's
>   satisfaction.
>1  The Enterprise is involved in a bizarre time-warp experience which is in
>   some way unconnected to the late 20th century.

Barak got the poem from Gail Scherba:

> SPELLBOUND  by Penny Harper (scent by Gail Scherba  (-:  Ed)
> I have a spelling checker.
> It came with my PC.
> It plainly marks four my revue,
> Mistakes I cannot sea.
> I've run this poem threw it,
> I'm sure your pleased two no.
> It's letter-perfect, without error,
> My checker tolled me sew.


 Posted by      Richard K. Moore <•••@••.•••>
                Wexford, Ireland (USA citizen)
                Editor: The Cyberjournal (@CPSR.ORG)

See the CyberLib at:
See Cyber-Rights library:

You are encouraged to forward and cross-post messages and online materials
for non-commercial use, provided they are copied in their entirety, with
all headers, signatures, etc., intact.